Stepping into the bustling studio of “Good Things Utah” for the first time with my daughter, Peyton, was an experience I anticipated with a mix of excitement and a touch of professional focus. Our mission was clear: to introduce our new cookbook, Raised in the Kitchen, a project born from our shared love for food and family memories. What I didn’t foresee was that this seemingly routine television appearance would etch a profound lesson onto my heart, a moment that would forever redefine my perspective on communication and respect, especially when it comes to young adults.
For Peyton, this wasn’t just another day; it was her very first live television interview. The bright lights, the crew bustling around, the general hum of a broadcast environment – it was all new and, understandably, a source of nervous anticipation. She’s a thoughtful, observant teenager, and as we settled into a quiet corner, waiting for our segment to begin, her natural inclination to “people watch” kicked in. She took in every detail, every interaction, quietly processing the organized chaos around us. In a hushed voice, she turned to me and voiced a question that revealed her deepest concern: “Mom, how will the host, Nicea DeGering, treat us? And more importantly, how will she treat me, a teenager, on live television?” Her vulnerability in that moment was palpable, a testament to how acutely young people perceive and respond to the way adults engage with them.
Being Truly Seen: A Powerful Encounter
The moment Nicea DeGering approached us, the atmosphere shifted. She didn’t just walk over; she moved with an inviting energy, a genuine warmth that immediately put us at ease. She took her seat, and as Peyton later recounted, the rest of the pre-show preparations and chatter faded into an indistinct blur. One specific interaction, however, stood out with crystal clarity, leaving an indelible mark on my daughter’s perception of the entire experience.
Nicea didn’t just glance at Peyton; she turned her body fully, made direct, sustained eye contact, and initiated a conversation that was engaging, personal, and profoundly respectful. She spoke to Peyton not as a junior sidekick or a child to be tolerated, but as an equally important guest. There was genuine laughter, an exchange of ideas, and sincere encouragement that flowed effortlessly. Nicea asked Peyton about her contributions to the cookbook, her favorite recipes, and even her thoughts on being on television. This wasn’t merely polite small talk; it was an authentic connection that acknowledged Peyton’s presence, her voice, and her inherent value.
In that short pre-segment interaction, Peyton caught on. She understood the unspoken message that Nicea was sending: “You matter. Your thoughts are important. Your presence is valued.” This wasn’t just a host preparing for a segment; it was an adult demonstrating a profound level of respect and inclusivity towards a young person. The simple act of Nicea truly seeing Peyton, engaging with her as an equal, transformed what could have been an intimidating experience into one of empowerment and confidence. It was a masterclass in intergenerational communication, showing how a few moments of genuine attention can make all the difference in a young person’s world.
The Ripple Effect: A Parent’s Realization
As we buckled into the car after the show, the rain began to fall, and the sky outside was heavy with gray clouds. Yet, inside our vehicle, there was an unexpected lightness, a warmth that defied the weather. Peyton, usually reserved after a new experience, was beaming. “Mom,” she exclaimed, her voice still buzzing with excitement, “that was actually pretty fun! And did you notice how incredibly kind Nicea was to me?”
Her question hung in the air, prompting a moment of deep introspection. I had been caught up in the logistics, the excitement of promoting our cookbook, the professional demands of a live broadcast. In my focus, I hadn’t fully registered the nuanced kindness that Peyton had so acutely observed. But as her words sank in, a powerful realization washed over me. Peyton was absolutely spot on. Nicea DeGering, a seasoned television host with a packed schedule and countless responsibilities, had chosen to treat my teenage daughter with an exceptional level of grace and respect. She could have easily dismissed Peyton as “just a kid,” rolled her eyes at a “snotty teen,” or simply addressed me as the primary adult guest. Instead, she spoke to Peyton as if she were just as important as her mother, affirming her worth and acknowledging her presence in a truly meaningful way.
This subtle, yet profound, act of kindness profoundly impacted Peyton, turning what could have been a nerve-wracking debut into a positive and memorable experience. And in turn, it sparked a significant shift in my own perspective. I drove home, not just happy about a successful TV appearance, but deeply moved by the quiet power of a single adult choosing to be an example of genuine respect and inclusivity. It was a reminder that the smallest gestures can leave the biggest impressions, especially on impressionable young minds. The contrast between the gloomy weather and my uplifted spirits perfectly mirrored the internal transformation sparked by Nicea’s exemplary behavior.
Be the Example: Redefining Adult-Teen Interactions
That car ride, with Peyton’s innocent yet profound observation, became a catalyst for deeper reflection on how adults, myself included, interact with and perceive teenagers. As I drove through the rain-soaked streets, my thoughts drifted to the diverse circle of friends I cherish – women I love like sisters, each wonderfully unique and different from the next. Many of them don’t even know each other, yet they all share one remarkable trait: they never speak down to my children, nor do they speak negatively about their own. This common thread, woven through their varied personalities, struck me as incredibly significant.
It forced me to confront my own past behaviors. How often have I, in moments of frustration or shared parental commiseration, casually rattled off phrases like, “Oh, kids are the worst!” or “Teenagers are so dramatic!” when a friend complained about their own children? These seemingly innocuous statements, often uttered without much thought, contribute to a pervasive narrative that stereotypes and devalues young people. But that day, through Peyton’s eyes and Nicea’s example, I realized the profound disservice these casual dismissals inflict. I vowed right then and there: no more.
Perhaps it’s not always teens who are “the worst” or “immature”; perhaps it’s the adults who sometimes fail to meet them with the respect and understanding they deserve. Can you imagine the outrage, the flurry of “disrespect” cards we would be throwing out, if teenagers constantly labeled adults as “nightmares,” “immature,” or “clueless”? The double standard is stark. We expect respect from young people, yet too often, we fail to model it ourselves. We forget that teenagers are not just future adults; they are individuals in a crucial developmental stage, navigating complex emotions and social landscapes, often feeling misunderstood and judged.
Today, I had the privilege of glimpsing and remembering this fundamental truth through the unfiltered perspective of my teenager, all because another adult chose to lead the way with kindness and genuine engagement. This experience solidified my belief that the responsibility lies with us, the adults, to challenge negative stereotypes and consciously choose to be positive examples. We have the power to uplift, to validate, and to empower the young people in our lives simply by treating them with the same dignity and respect we expect for ourselves. It’s a call to action for all of us: to listen more, to judge less, and to truly see the incredible potential and inherent worth in every teenager. I’ll be better, striving to embody that lesson every day. Because, truly, teens are actually the best, and sometimes, all they need is for an adult to genuinely say it, and show it.